Grab Uwe Boll by the horns



  • Okay, you might remember this forum topic from last year back when the older version of the site was up and running. Anyway, I would like to once again bring up the topic of this man:

    Unless you saw the version of this forum on the earlier version of this site, I'll fill you in: he's Uwe Boll. What does he do for a living? He takes well-loved video games, makes horrible movie adaptations of them, and whenever his critics bash on them, he says mean and hateful things towards them in public and/or challenges them to (read: beats them up in) boxing matches in an attempt to "prove that his films were masterpieces". Now, you might be wondering why Uwe Boll is still in the movie-making business even though his movies keep on tanking. Well, he uses German tax loopholes to gain money from the film despite it bombing. Kinda like what Bialistock and Bloom were trying in "the Producers." I would love to make that assumption about the Twilight movies but I digress.

    About how terrible his movies are, it would take me an eternity to discuss it. Instead, I'll just show you some reviews of his movies. Ever since last May, I have been fond of a group of reviewers called MediaWhorz, who, in my opinion, deserve more recognition than they currently have. And last year, they launched a review of Uwe Boll's BloodRayne movie.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4CHZT-iXHAU&feature=c4-overview&list=UUKD_Ur6nsmPExtNuMDfilIg

    And one day before this year's Halloween, they released a review for another one of their movies. House of the Dead. The review was part of a "worst directors" competition called "The Uwe Bowl." I don't think I need to tell you where they got that idea.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CS1OYjL6rPQ&list=UUKD_Ur6nsmPExtNuMDfilIg

    And the Nostalgia Critic reviewed Alone In The Dark.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGAhSncn500

    So, I believe each of these reviews would give you an insight as to why we don't like Uwe Boll and why he has been ridiculed by so many people. There are plenty of other reviews of his films ripping into him, but listing more of them would be pretty stressful. Anyway, if any of you want to express your thoughts on Uwe Boll and why he is only fit for mocking, watch any one of these three vids and post your thoughts to me. That would be great! Thanks!



  • It constantly baffles me this man is still allowed to work in any professional capacity.



  • I think you should also make one on Craig Moss, a film director who does the same formula as Seltzerberg's (take existing pop culture references and make infinitely worse jokes out of them) but with MUCH worse results. His films include Breaking Wind (a Twilight spoof, [http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/teamt/fbv/bmbe/38974-bad-movie-beatdown-breaking-wind Film Brain made a review on it](http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/teamt/fbv/bmbe/38974-bad-movie-beatdown-breaking-wind Film Brain made a review on it)), 30 Nights of Paranormal Activity with the Devil Inside the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (a Paranormal Activity spoof), and The 41-Year-Old Virgin Who Knocked Up Sarah Marshall and Felt Superbad About It (a spoof of Judd Apatow's films).

    http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTY1NTAyNjM3N15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwODgxMDExOA@@.V1_SX214_CR0,0,214,317.jpg

    PS: How do I add in images and videos in.



  • Uwe Boll also takes awful games and makes even more awful movies based on them, like Postal and the Bloodrayne franchise.



  • @Domayv:

    I think you should also make one on Craig Moss, a film director who does the same formula as Seltzerberg's (take existing pop culture references and make infinitely worse jokes out of them) but with MUCH worse results. His films include Breaking Wind (a Twilight spoof, review on it), 30 Nights of Paranormal Activity with the Devil Inside the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (a Paranormal Activity spoof), and The 41-Year-Old Virgin Who Knocked Up Sarah Marshall and Felt Superbad About It (a spoof of Judd Apatow's films). PS: How do I add in images and videos in. - See more at: http://www.funimation.com/forum/showthread.php?1000-Grab-Uwe-Boll-by-the-horns#sthash.wPk1vZFS.dpuf

    Well, the thing is, I'm not familiar with Craig Moss. Until now, I have always had no idea who he is, and I never knew what he did or what his movies were like. Still, I'll take a look at that video and give you my thoughts.

    PS. for links and images, here's a link to where you can find out how to do all of this. I hope you find it useful.



  • @iamshodan:

    Well, the thing is, I'm not familiar with Craig Moss. Until now, I have always had no idea who he is, and I never knew what he did or what his movies were like. Still, I'll take a look at that video and give you my thoughts.

    PS. for links and images, here's a link to where you can find out how to do all of this. I hope you find it useful.

    He's a spoof film director known for doing the same formula that Seltzerberg does (taking existing pop culture references and make worse jokes out of them), but with much worse results. I came across this guy when I watched Film Brain's review of one of his films, Breaking Wind, a spoof of Twilight. For a little history about him, his first film (The 41-Year-Old Virgin Who Knocked Up Sarah Marshall and Felt Superbad About It) was funded on the back of a truly abysmal youtube trailer. The only non-spoof films he's done so far are Bad Ass (which stars Danny Trejo) and its sequel Bad Asses. His spoof films are considered to be some of the worst films ever made, with many critics and the audience trashing them (Film Brain, during his review of Breaking Wind, went as far as saying that Craig Moss needs to stay away from making any more spoof films due to how horrible they are to the point that the art of comedy needs to file a restraining order on him due to those films' overwhelming awfulness).

    ![](http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTY1NTAyNjM3N15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwODgxMDExOA@@._ V1_SX214_CR0,0,214,317_.jpg) (seems that the image isn't showing up)



  • Yeah, I never liked spoof movies with the exception of Galaxy Quest. When Dad rented Spaceballs from the video library, I borderline begged Dad to let me not see it, and when I watched it, I ended up never wanting to see it again. Oh, and as if Breaking Wind wasn't bad enough, there's also another Twilight parody movie called Vampires Suck, which, well, sucks. Looks like Twilight's rabid fans and haters alike now have not one, but two common foes. It's time to take them down.

    Anyway, back to Uwe Boll. Since you brought up parodies, I would like to say this: according to the MediaWhorz review of House of the Dead (which I hope you all check out), Uwe Boll released a parody of his own House of the Dead movie, and it turned out to be even worse than the original movie. And considering that the original film acted like a parody to begin with, Uwe Boll really scraped the bottom of the barrel. This is made more evident when he gave his Bloodrayne 3 movie its own parody called Blubberella. And the less said about that cinematic dung-heap the better.



  • @iamshodan:

    Yeah, I never liked spoof movies with the exception of Galaxy Quest. When Dad rented Spaceballs from the video library, I borderline begged Dad to let me not see it, and when I watched it, I ended up never wanting to see it again. Oh, and as if Breaking Wind wasn't bad enough, there's also another Twilight parody movie called Vampires Suck, which, well, sucks. Looks like Twilight's rabid fans and haters alike now have not one, but two common foes. It's time to take them down.

    Anyway, back to Uwe Boll. Since you brought up parodies, I would like to say this: according to the MediaWhorz review of House of the Dead (which I hope you all check out), Uwe Boll released a parody of his own House of the Dead movie, and it turned out to be even worse than the original movie. And considering that the original film acted like a parody to begin with, Uwe Boll really scraped the bottom of the barrel. This is made more evident when he gave his Bloodrayne 3 movie its own parody called Blubberella. And the less said about that cinematic dung-heap the better.

    Breaking Wind's even worse than Seltzerberg's Vampires Suck in terms of being a Twilight parody (as I already mentioned, Craig Moss does even worse parodies than Seltzerberg), although the only other one that outdoes both is this spoof called Taintlight, which was released before either of those films.

    Back on Uwe Boll, to give you a hint to how godawful they are, his best film (as of now) is 1968 Tunnel Rats (which was a HUGE failure), which is somewhat so bad it's good. The film prior to that film was Blackwoods (which came a year before he began directing films based off games), which got an 11% on Rotten Tomatoes.



  • I watched that Breaking Wind review and it turns out that Film Brain actually mentioned Vampires Suck at the beginning of the film. All those Twilight-ridiculing fan-arts you see on the web are a thousand, if not a million times more fun than any Twilight parodying movie.

    And as for Uwe Boll, he does seem to be slightly better at making movies that aren't based on video games than he is at making ones that are. But not much. Here are links to video reviews of his Bloodrayne movies made by Phelous:

    First movie

    Second movie

    Third movie

    And here's his House Of The Dead review.



  • @iamshodan:

    I watched that Breaking Wind review and it turns out that Film Brain actually mentioned Vampires Suck at the beginning of the film. All those Twilight-ridiculing fan-arts you see on the web are a thousand, if not a million times more fun than any Twilight parodying movie.

    He mentioned that film to compare between Breaking Wind and Vampires Suck in terms of how they do their parodies.



  • Vampires Suck was directed by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, who, like Craig Moss, also direct horrible parodi… oh, you mentioned them already. Anyway, MediaWhorz recently reviewed one of their films, Disaster Movie, and it one the Uwe Bowl.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2rRh11dysI&list=UUKD_Ur6nsmPExtNuMDfilIg&index=2


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