How to handled thing better online?



  • How to handled thing better online? So we don't get into fight arguments?



  • Question: are you genuinely willing to give us a chance if we willingly give you a chance? Because I'll admit I get super defensive and I can get bitchy and I may have been to hard on you.

    However the biggest part of how to handle things is willingness to take critisim without thinking it's a personal attack.



  • @Queenira said in How to handled thing better online?:

    Question: are you genuinely willing to give us a chance if we willingly give you a chance? Because I'll admit I get super defensive and I can get bitchy and I may have been to hard on you.

    However the biggest part of how to handle things is willingness to take critisim without thinking it's a personal attack.

    @Queenira Well the thing is. It not heath I get to emotion in the thing online I seriously think I'm going to temporarily go off YouTube because it's getting out of control now and wanted it not heath and it just bad all around. Also I managed to read your comment that you posted not too long ago about your childhood and I feel really really bad now. As someone who also hating being called a nickname "Frankie" as Kid I always knew and thought that name as a girls name every person that was named Frankie that I know as Kid was girl I always knew that name as a girls name every person that was named Frankie that I know was a girl. Don't know why anyone thinks that they should be a nickname to a boy Frank name. You only use that name for a boy for a nickname you don't actually name a boy Frankie you name him Frank, Franklin, or Francis. Which out of the three I'm glad my biological name is Frank.



  • @gohan6425 Funny enough we call my cousin Frank because his cull name is Francis. But I feel you there. It's never fun at all to be bullied. I was living it for almost 13 years every day. Anime really helped me become who I am and gave me the confidence to speak up for myself and led me to my happiness. I still need the help of others to overcome my issues but I'm not going to ever let them hold me back.

    But look. I took my old pain out on you and that's not right. We're mostly adults here. However one thing you have to remember is people aren't here to attack you or belittle you. Everyone has their own views and experiences that can be just as valid as yours are. When someone disagrees with you it's not because they think that you're lesser or stupid, they just see things differently or may have more experience with it.

    A discussion is not a fight. At the end of the day you should be able to walk away smiling. Hardy and I disagree on a lot of things, at times I've wanted to scream in his face about how he was acting. But at the end of they day even if we need time to cool down I can still come back and say "were not getting anywhere screaming. we agree to disagree".

    And it's hard. It's brutal at times. But I live by this; as long as you're not encouraging harm or doing harm believe what you wish.



  • @Queenira said in How to handled thing better online?:

    @gohan6425 Funny enough we call my cousin Frank because his cull name is Francis. But I feel you there. It's never fun at all to be bullied. I was living it for almost 13 years every day. Anime really helped me become who I am and gave me the confidence to speak up for myself and led me to my happiness. I still need the help of others to overcome my issues but I'm not going to ever let them hold me back.

    But look. I took my old pain out on you and that's not right. We're mostly adults here. However one thing you have to remember is people aren't here to attack you or belittle you. Everyone has their own views and experiences that can be just as valid as yours are. When someone disagrees with you it's not because they think that you're lesser or stupid, they just see things differently or may have more experience with it.

    A discussion is not a fight. At the end of the day you should be able to walk away smiling. Hardy and I disagree on a lot of things, at times I've wanted to scream in his face about how he was acting. But at the end of they day even if we need time to cool down I can still come back and say "were not getting anywhere screaming. we agree to disagree".

    And it's hard. It's brutal at times. But I live by this; as long as you're not encouraging harm or doing harm believe what you wish.

    @Queenira Yeah guy like Ash and most importantly Goku gave me the confidence to speak up for myself and do what I want to do not hide behind what the teachers wanted me to do the whole concept of his you know a little class warrior could easily turn into and elite if you put your mind to it. I always took that to heart and anyone said I couldn't be something with my learning disability. Like doing wrestling. Been very successful at my high school. And not tell me that I couldn't do it. I always had a chip on my shoulder to prove people wrong so I guess that's really why I'm the way I am because I've always had that chip on my shoulder You know?



  • @gohan6425 I feel you there. I had people my own age tell me I would never be successful or that I would be forever lonely. I mean I still live with my folks but I have a career now and I get to live doing my passions.

    And there are times I still have people say stuff. There will always be assholes and jerks out there. Always. But here were all trying to be friends regardless of how we made it this far. I think what a lot of us would like is to not be told were wrong when we have something different to say. But we all wanna follow the rules and stay in line because we all love anime just in our own ways.



  • Honestly my biggest issue is when you used the kaitard word. I don't care if you have a different meaning for the word it's still using the slang word for retard. I hate it when people use words like that.



  • @gohan6425 This is a good thread. Keep it up. ^_^



  • @Sophie I'm really sorry if I got out of hand. I was being a big jerk too Sophie and I didn't mean to make things harder for you.



  • @Queenira No worries. ^_^



  • I really do feel we could get along well, we just need to not be confrontational with opinions. I really enjoy your threads Gohan and like I've said before, you add a lot of life and value to the forums :)

    I will admit, the use of the word "tard" bothers me too. I have a sister whom is special needs, so I have always been sensitive about variations of the word "retard" and that is a pretty quick trigger for me. She functions at about a grade 3 level despite being 21 and I got in to more then a few fights with people over this, especially since she doesnt understand that people are making fun of her and tries to be everyone's friend. It doesn't matter to me that there are other words attached, using it in a derogatory way is wrong.

    I will admit, I can keep going with an argument just to get ire raised, which isn't good for creating a healthy enviroment on here and is one of my many flaws, so I will work on that. It's not cool and I apologize for not being respectful in that way.

    I will also say that things I say need to be taken less seriously. There are times I am genuinely joking around with you and then suddenly you're mad and I'm not sure why. Just know I like to joke around, if you feel I have insulted you, instead of assuming I have ask me to clarify. I do feel this would help a lot in communication too, it's easy to misunderstand when it's written over the Internet instead actually speaking.



  • I think the lesson this thread is showing is that we all have scars from living our life.

    I've been bullied too. But this was in ninth grade, a year before any sort of fandom or friendship would help me. But I never let it bother me (hell, at the time I didn't even realize I was being bullied). Sometimes I have bliss in my arrogance. Now I view myself as a charismatic individual who hates that he is charismatic.



  • @emdier said in How to handled thing better online?:

    I really do feel we could get along well, we just need to not be confrontational with opinions. I really enjoy your threads Gohan and like I've said before, you add a lot of life and value to the forums :)

    I will admit, the use of the word "tard" bothers me too. I have a sister whom is special needs, so I have always been sensitive about variations of the word "retard" and that is a pretty quick trigger for me. She functions at about a grade 3 level despite being 21 and I got in to more then a few fights with people over this, especially since she doesnt understand that people are making fun of her and tries to be everyone's friend. It doesn't matter to me that there are other words attached, using it in a derogatory way is wrong.

    I will admit, I can keep going with an argument just to get ire raised, which isn't good for creating a healthy enviroment on here and is one of my many flaws, so I will work on that. It's not cool and I apologize for not being respectful in that way.

    I will also say that things I say need to be taken less seriously. There are times I am genuinely joking around with you and then suddenly you're mad and I'm not sure why. Just know I like to joke around, if you feel I have insulted you, instead of assuming I have ask me to clarify. I do feel this would help a lot in communication too, it's easy to misunderstand when it's written over the Internet instead actually speaking.

    @emdier Well I am sort of special needs to since I'm learning disabled but I'm almost certain/assuming what you're talking about which I wouldn't fall into that category. I can tell you that I don't like the word "retard" either. However the term "tard" with put said franchise above it. It's more of the YouTube thing which is why I'm more custom to the term since I'm a YouTube or regular it's very common in the YouTube community to use the term tard. However to my understanding it's supposed to mean that you're in the Extreme fanboy that believes everything no matter what. Example the term "screwattard" me and you believe everything the death battle said even if it's been factually proven to be wrong to be wrong. This is the term I use a lot obviously for obvious reasons. So it's not supposed to mean the same thing as retard and yes I'm just like you too I don't like saying that actual work either. Though I guess most of the people in this forum site wouldn't have known that since they're probably not a custom to YouTube slang word terms. Since most people here are not YouTube regulars like I am. But I see it almost all the time by different YouTuber comment sections videos etc.



  • When I Google the term, what comes up as a definition is,

    tard (plural tards) (slang, derogatory, offensive) A person with mental retardation. (slang, derogatory, offensive) A person who acts stupidly.

    So you can see why I would consider the word, as well as variations of it, to be offensive, considering I didn't know how you meant it. And I have never heard it used it the manner you're talking about, it has always been said around me in a duragatory and extremely rude way.



  • @emdier said in How to handled thing better online?:

    When I Google the term, what comes up as a definition is,

    tard (plural tards) (slang, derogatory, offensive) A person with mental retardation. (slang, derogatory, offensive) A person who acts stupidly.

    So you can see why I would consider the word, as well as variations of it, to be offensive, considering I didn't know how you meant it. And I have never heard it used it the manner you're talking about, it has always been said around me in a duragatory and extremely rude way.

    @emdier yeah but that's just one definition there's many different definitions up for that term and I'm assuming that's a general term of it. However there's also slang definitions as well which are not official definitions to the Webster dictionary. But believe me when I tell you this people use this term all the time and you too as a matter fact I picked it up from people in the comment section that were calling screw attack it. As someone who is a YouTube regular I wouldn't know because I comments all the time while watching these videos or seeing other people that say it even one of my friends were in roaring thunder pursuit on YouTube has set it.



  • "But believe me when I tell you this people use this term all the time and you too as a matter fact I picked it up from people in the comment section that were calling screw attack it. "

    Correct me if I am wrong, but are you implying this is a word I've used? Because it is not one that ever enters my vocabulary. That's this what this sentence is making it sound like, claiming I have used this term before.



  • @emdier said in How to handled thing better online?:

    "But believe me when I tell you this people use this term all the time and you too as a matter fact I picked it up from people in the comment section that were calling screw attack it. "

    Correct me if I am wrong, but are you implying this is a word I've used? Because it is not one that ever enters my vocabulary. That's this what this sentence is making it sound like, claiming I have used this term before.

    @emdier No. Saying that a lot of people in the YouTube community use this term I'm not saying everyone in particular I'm saying more people that are regulars to YouTube use this term.



  • If I may I think the discussion isn't one of who uses it but rather why is it used at all when the term is used to mock and belittle people with intellectual disabilities. And I'm for the side that it shouldn't be used.



  • @gohan6425 said in How to handled thing better online?:

    But believe me when I tell you this people use this term all the time

    That doesn't make it right.
    And when it triggers the community, then it's definitely not appropriate.



  • Plus not everyone here or in the world uses YouTube.



  • I'll use retard by its other definition: to slow, impede, or inhibit. Which I do believe to be a verb.

    For example: My friend had his wisdom teeth pulled and the doctor told him to avoid spicy food because it will retard his recovery.

    See, this is an appropriate use of the word retard and it is not used in a derogatory manner.


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