Confess Your Love—Kaguya-sama Style

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Josellie Rios
Josellie is a Strategy Manager and host of the One Piece at a Time podcast at Funimation. Find her talking about soccer or the reasons you should be watching Kaguya-sama: Love is War.

As we all know from anime, confessions can be tough. Telling someone that you like them is comparable to stepping in water with your socks on—it eats away at your soul from the inside out. Luckily, Kaguya-sama: Love is War has a fantastic workaround that’ll guarantee your socks stay dry and the confession goes smoothly.

Simply trick the other person into doing it instead.

“Ingenious! Why didn’t I think of that?” you’re undoubtedly asking yourself. Never fear, because here are five totally effective, and in no way questionable, tactics to crush your crush in this game called love.

1. Trick them into inviting you to the movies

Purchase exactly two movie tickets to the most romantic film currently in theaters. When you and your crush next meet up, make sure the movie tickets end up in your crush’s possession and HEAVILY imply they should not let a ticket go to waste. This will leave them with only one move—to invite you. Subtle body language and repeating “Choose me, choose me, choose me!” in your head is the most important part of this fool-proof plan.

2. Make them jealous with a fake date

This one is super simple. Write a lofty love letter to yourself and show it to your crush. Ask them if you should seek out this written-word warrior and go on a date with them. The jealousy will consume their very being and, as if straight out of manga, force an instant confession. 

3. Make sure they have a way to contact you

Have an acquaintance trade contact information with your crush. Butt into the conversation and nonchalantly, yet confidently say that you wouldn’t mind if they added you to their contacts as well and toss your crush your phone. Once completed, you’re basically dating.

4. Be late to school—on purpose

Locate the path your crush takes to get to school. Leave your house early and wait along the path. If ever they’re running late, it means that you are as well. Stare at them on their bicycle and complain that your feet couldn’t possibly get you to school on time. Since they’re a good samaritan, they’ll surely offer you a ride. At this point, your anime-style tandem bike ride will spark a romance unlike anything the world has ever seen. (This one only works if your crush rides their bicycle to school.)

5. Leave your umbrella at home

Religiously check the weather for rain. After school, when the rain comes, stand by the exit and look dejected. Your crush will take notice and offer you their umbrella. You should only accept this proposal if they offer to walk with you and hold the umbrella themselves. The proximity and the threat of wet socks will force a confession from them.

And there you have it. Manufactured social situations can be just as powerful as organic ones, and with fewer unknown variables to boot!

Make your trope-y romance anime dreams come true by watching all episodes of Kaguya-sama: Love is War subbed on FunimationNow!

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